What do I want to achieve in skating?

Sometimes I wonder, what do I want to achieve in skating. Sometimes I wonder, what do I really want out of competitions.

After all, I've gotta get real - its not like I can dream of going to the Olympics or anything. BUT there is possibly some hope that adult skating will take off, and there will really be an "Adult Worlds" - in fact, some have already started to dub the ISU Adult Competition in Oberstdorf as the "Adult Worlds".

However, from a high-level, personal point of view, there is one thing that I really want, and have been pursuing for the last few years:
A perfect competition program, recorded on video
And I am still searching for it!

I came in second at the 2004 Mountain Cup. That was a pretty decent program, except that I fell on the double Sal... and of course the flying camel and double Toe were horrendous! My 2006 Mountain Cup program - which won me the cup, finally - had a terribly messed-up double toe.

At the first Mountain Cup I went to in 2000, I won the Bronze Young Ladies' event. If I don't remember wrong, it was a clean program, and must have been my closest-to-perfect program, but no, I wasnt' satisfied - I needed to move up (though I wasn't expecting to move to Gold in the next competition - I skipped a level, and paid the price for it!)

Now, that begs the question of, how can I get a "perfect" program when I'm always striving for more difficult elements? This is where I realise the challenge is two-fold - striving for higher level of difficulty and of perfection!

Hence, the ever-elusive "perfect program on video" will remain just that: ever-elusive.